How To Quickly Get To Know A Man & His Feelings
>Do you have intense fears or negative emotions
that accidentally come out when you talk with a
man? If you want to improve your own internal
and external “dialogue” with a man, and stop
your insecurities from negatively affecting what
you DO and SAY… take a second to read about
the hidden keys to communicating with a man HERE:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/CommunicationSecrets/
Dear Miss,
I’m going to get right to the point-
When you don’t know how to get a man to
communicate openly and honestly with you at
all times… it can seem impossible to move
past the “guessing game” of dating or a
casual relationship.
Here’s why this is so difficult with a
man…
If you’re like lots of women I’ve helped,
then when you finally choose a man to date,
you share your heart, mind, body, and soul.
But isn’t it the worst kind of pain when
you find out AFTER THE FACT that the man
you’ve shared yourself with isn’t interested
in a real future?
That he was only “casually” into being
with you, or with any woman.
Or what’s worse… after dating a man for
weeks or months you find out that he’s been
seeing ANOTHER WOMAN all along?
Aaaarrrrgggggghhhh!
You can’t believe you thought this was
something serious and real. Obviously it
wasn’t FOR HIM.
Don’t let these painful situations with
men cause you to suffer… when there’s a
way to COMPLETELY AVOID THEM in the first
place.
Would your relationship with a man be
more SECURE and fulfilling if you were able
to talk with him and know what was really
going on in his mind?
Keep reading to learn how to bring a
new level of CONFIDENCE and SECURITY to
your love life by transforming the way
you’re able to COMMUNICATE with a man.
Here’s the first thing you should know…
What grabs a man’s attention, what makes
him listen, and what he can understand and
relate to when it comes to love and a real
relationship is different than what works
or makes sense to you as a woman.
Don’t make the mistake of trying to talk
to a man, date him, or find ways for you to
understand each other or share your thoughts
in your relationship by assuming that the way
things work for you is the way they are going
to work for HIM.
If you want to quickly improve the way
you and a man communicate and share your
lives… here’s the best shortcut around:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/CommunicationSecrets/
Now, I have a question for you-
When you meet a new guy and you start
dating, do you ever feel anxious that you’re
going to “mess it up” by doing or saying
something wrong?
Do you get upset when a guy hasn’t called
you after a few dates, and you wish you knew
why and what to do or say about it?
Do you ever worry that since men can be
so “fickle” even after you’ve been dating
for a while… that all it takes is one bad
conversation or emotional exchange for him to
lose interest and start acting differently?
If you’ve ever experienced any of the
situations above, then you know that feeling
you get in your stomach when you start liking
a guy but things come to a screeching halt.
All of a sudden, instead of him calling
you, asking you out, and showing you that
he’s interested and attracted to you… it’s
almost like he starts AVOIDING YOU.
And you know that if you stopped making
the effort, it would all end that very second.
Do you know what to do and say to a man
when this happens if you don’t want things
to completely unravel?
For lots of women, they fall into a state
of PANIC in their mind… as FEAR AND ANXIETY
takes over.
And it’s here that things go from bad to
worse as they do some of the universal things
that cause a man to lose interest in a woman
and walk away.
A few of these common mistakes are:
1. “Losing your cool” emotionally and trying
to get what you want by pouting, crying,
yelling, or becoming angry and bitter
2. Trying to win him over by PURSUING HIM
and doing all kinds of “nice” things to get
his attention or approval
3. Working to CONVINCE HIM to want to be with
you, and why you’re the best thing for him,
and making him see you as too “clingy” or
“needy”
Now, to be clear here… I’m not saying
that a woman might not be “justified” in
losing her cool, or in acting in ways a man
who isn’t terribly comfortable sharing his
feelings could judge to be “needy”.
What I’m saying is if you’re interested
in what a man is thinking or feeling with
you, and you want him to FEEL ATTRACTED to
you and want to be with you and share his
feelings…
Then you need to start thinking about
how YOUR BEHAVIOR looks from HIS PERSPECTIVE.
And why the things that YOU do and say
cause him to RESPOND the way he does.
Here’s what you need to know right now…
If you “lose your cool” too often with a
man, or you act in a way he thinks is too
“needy”… guess how it’s going to make him
feel?
He’s going to feel the OPPOSITE of ATTRACTED
to you.
As in he will actually feel REPELLED by you.
Ummm… not good.
In fact, this is usually the kiss of death
with a man if it happens early on.
After a man gets that gut-level negative
“Eeeewwww” feeling about a woman…it’s like
a door has swung shut and a man will never
open it with her again.
Why is this?
The short answer is because when a man
sees a woman act this way… unconsciously
he stops trusting her.
And when this happens, it’s impossible
for a man to open up and share his thoughts
or feelings with her in any real way ever
again.
Not to mention ever feel an emotional
connection or an attraction for her.
Now, as bad as all this is… guess what’s
worse?
Most women who end up making these kinds
of mistakes have NO CLUE that they’re making
these mistakes and shutting the door to a
man themselves.
Seriously.
Have you ever called a man, and started
talking to him, only to realize that he was
in a COMPLETELY different mood than the way
he was with you before?
Like he just “turned cold” on you all of
a sudden, even though nothing had really
happened or changed as far as you knew.
It was almost like you were talking to a
completely different guy than then one you
were with just a day or two before… and it
made no sense.
Actually, it completely FREAKED YOU OUT.
And when you tried to talk about it… it
was like that part of him you used to connect
with just wasn’t there anymore.
And when you asked him what was wrong, he
replied:
“Nothing. Why?”
And that was it.
It was one of those conversations where you
could just TELL that something wasn’t right…
and that he wasn’t going to be calling you or
initiating much of anything with you. Maybe
ever again.
And each time you tried to talk to him or
communicate with him, it was like he couldn’t
get away from you quick enough. Or like he
wasn’t even there.
Which just made you feel even more FREAKED
OUT and upset.
But the more you felt like he was pulling
away and felt rejected by him, the more you couldn’t
keep yourself from either emotionally breaking
down when you talked to him…
Or trying anything and everything you could
think of to make him “into you” again.
But all this you were doing in an attempt
to save things only made him want to run even
faster away from you.
What’s going on here?
Here’s the deal…
I personally think that these kinds of
frustrating situations for women come down
to a few key DEEPER ISSUES.
And I think that if you don’t have these
other issues “handled”, and you don’t know what
to do around a man to break out of the common
patterns most women stay trapped in, then you’re
going to keep running into the same problems
with man after man… and NEVER even know WHY
you can’t have the true love in your life you
know is possible.
I mean, it’s bad enough to keep having a
particular problem with a man… or to suffer
from similar problems with several men as a
recurring pattern in your love life…
But the reality is that, just like you,
most women want true love and security in
their love life.
And even though they might have the best of
intentions in their actions with a man… they
still might NEVER come across the actual
solution for being able to connect and
communicate with the man in their life and
make things work out in the end.
Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be this way.
If you want to go really deep and start
to address all the REAL REASONS why you end
up sabotaging your relationships with your
own emotions and insecurities… then I’ve got
just the thing to help you.
Go here to become really and truly ready
for love and a lasting relationship with a man:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/ReadyForLove/
Now, I want you to start thinking about all
this in a new way.
Let’s start here…
If you’re wanting to talk to a man, and
you’re already feeling anxious, scared, and
unsure of what to say and if you’re ever going
to be able to get him to respond to you and
open up… then there is no “magic pill” to
solve your problem.
None of the “right words” are going to
make your situation better.
Why?
Because YOU are your own problem – not the
words you’re trying to find.
Let me explain…
If you call your man up and you need to
talk to him… and you tell him how you feel
and that you wish he would open up to you…
And then he says “Look, why don’t we talk
later. I’m tired.” and you get that sinking
feeling because you know he’s blowing you
off…
The reality is that you’re not going to
be able to make things better by trying
harder or asking him questions more often.
The answer isn’t trying more of the same.
It’s in using a completely different
approach and mindset.
HOW TO APPROACH CONVERSATIONS WITH A MAN
So, let’s take a few minutes and talk about
why it can be so difficult to communicate with
a man.
Here are some of the “root causes”, and how I
see them…
1) “Scarcity” Thinking
If you’re dating a man, or in a relationship
that’s new, and you have strong feelings for
him… it’s easy to start to feel more and more
worried and DESPERATE about whether things are
“ultimately” going to work out in the long run.
A large part of this comes from your own
mindset of “scarcity”.
The more you start to like a guy, the more
you start to worry, get nervous, act overly
emotional and sensitive, and become less
comfortable and confident around him.
On the other hand… it’s probably also
very easy to date, have fun, and be your “best
self” around guys who you don’t care that
much about.
How’s that for twisted irony?
But more importantly, why does this happen?
It comes from the fear that you don’t have
any other options… and that you believe that
it’s VERY UNLIKELY that a man will ever really
like you or love you.
When you feel this intense subtle unconscious
fear… it’s THEN that the single man in front of
you becomes so precious and valuable that you
lose control of your own emotions and your
behavior.
Translation: You want it too badly and
you start acting “needy” or desperate.
Of course, wanting love isn’t bad.
And wanting a man isn’t bad.
But allowing your negative beliefs about
yourself and your future to take over and
control you is bad.
What happens is that your emotional system
is AUTOMATICALLY triggered in a negative way…
because at some level you realize that if
you screw this up, it’s all over.
Your emotional system starts to behave
like your situation really is life or death.
And with this happening, no matter how
hard you try, your fearful and negative
emotions are going to show up and TURN HIM
OFF in a big way.
2) Wanting A Boyfriend Before You Know The Man
Now, if you have a guy you’ve been dating
for six months, and you’ve decided that he’s
one in a million, it makes sense to put a lot
of importance on your relationship with him.
But, if you don’t know a guy very well, or
you haven’t even dated him at all, then you
are only setting yourself up for major
disappointment by putting too much importance,
or your emotional well-being, on how things
go with him each day.
When you do this, you’re not actually
falling for the real guy in front of you…
You’re falling for the POTENTIAL.
By definition, you’re going to be upset
and frustrated when you find out that your
IDEAL isn’t REALITY…
And you’re going to start doing and saying
things that will frustrate, confuse, or
turn a man off simply because he’s not the
guy you made him out to be in your own mind.
Even though he might actually be a great
guy as he really is.
3) Thinking you can “talk him into loving you”
This is a HUGE issue.
Most women who find themselves having to
be the ones to “pursue” the man they desire
subconsciously start trying to CONVINCE him
that he should feel a certain way about them,
and want a certain kind of relationship.
When you think about this, it only makes
sense… of course you’d want the man you
like to feel the way you do… so he’ll love
you back and want to be with you.
But have you ever thought for a moment how
an interesting, attractive, indepedendent,
successful man sees it when a woman tries to
CONVINCE him of how he should feel?
Or what kind of relationship he should
want, and when?
Well, here’s the INSTANT and SUBCONSCIOUS
response that men have:
“She’s trying too hard. There’s something wrong
and I’m starting to not feel the same way I
felt when I met her. She’s already acting
insecure and she must have something bad going
on inside her. I don’t want to get involved if
this is how she is.”
In other words, the INSTANT you do something
or say something that is an obvious attempt at
convincing a man, his radar system screams:
“Needy!”
By the way, there’s a much better way to go
about making it so that the man you want has
INTENSE FEELINGS and wants to be with you as
well-
What do men want and gravitate towards more
than anything else when it comes to women?
Women who are ATTRACTIVE.
Instead of trying to talk to a man, or
convincing him to be into you… if you can
learn how to create the FEELING of ATTRACTION
inside of him, you won’t need to do much else
besides let him come to you.
If you need to stop TRYING to get a man to
like you and learn how to make him experience
a deep level of lasting ATTRACTION for you, then
take a second and read THIS:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/NALA/
4) Communicating Your Expectations In An
Accidentally Negative Way
When you start getting your hopes and
expectations up, you begin to get ATTACHED to
them.
Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT
to your little fantasy.
Bad idea.
Men don’t date women and feel comfortable
and excited to be with them when the woman
starts off assuming too much… and turns the
time they spend together and their relationship
into what feels like a “requirement” or an
“obligation”.
Remember, a good guy is used to having
women want to become serious with him VERY
QUICKLY… even though HIS MIND doesn’t always
move at the same pace.
Often times, before a guy has had a chance
to know if his relationship with a woman is
something he really wants and could last…
she’s already getting UPSET that he’s not
“ready” the way she is.
In fact, some guys almost EXPECT to date a
woman and then have her say, “You know, I’m
a little frustrated or bothered by the way
you are with me and our relationship…” or
some other equally predictable and subtly
negative statement.
Just like being desperate can destroy your
chances with a man… liking a man too much,
too fast and then communicating your own
expectations to him through your negative
emotions leads to bad outcomes as well.
Now, think over what I just said…
I’m basically saying that if you want to cure
the problem of why it can be so hard to talk to
a man when you’re dating and about moving things
forward… then you have to go INSIDE first and
become aware of what’s going on for yourself.
And then see how this affects HIM.
The GOOD NEWS is that doing this kind of
“introspection” is not only good for you, it
also helps you once you do have a great guy
and a real relationship.
So, here’s a few things I’d suggest you try:
1) For Meeting Men & Dating
If you go out one evening with a couple of
friends, and you meet a REALLY hot guy… and you
wind up having a fun conversation and he asks for
your number, what should you do?
Should you start thinking about how great
it will be to be with him when you’re in a
committed relationship together?
No.
You should remember what we talked about-
that often times when you really like a guy and
you start filling your head with all kinds of
expectations… you not only have a harder time
being your “best self” when you’re around him
again…
But you often end up acting in ways that
turn him off and make him become closed off to
the idea of a future with you.
Instead of putting all your “hopes” in this
one situation, remember that this is just the
start… and that there’s a lot to learn and
discover before a relationship could develop.
(at least one that would be healthy and “real”)
And of course, it never hurts to keep in
mind that other guy you met a while back who
you connected with as well.
Think about it… when are you MOST likely
to have a man be into you? When are you most
likely to be in a great mood that actually
ATTRACTS a man?
Exactly… when you’re not WORRIED or
NERVOUS about what’s going to happen next.
So take advantage of this time.
If you want the best “skill” a woman can
have when it comes to dating and being able
to draw a man in and make him feel DEEPLY
ATTRACTED to her for more than just a fling…
Then you need to read THIS:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/NALA/
2) For Communicating In A Relationship, Or
Starting A New One
I have news for you: when you think about
something important to you or your relationship
for hours or days… and then you finally are
with your man and you take everything you’ve
thought of and let it out, expecting him to
hear you and understand where it’s all coming
from….
He’s NOT going to get it or understand you.
Why?
It’s not because he doesn’t care or that
he isn’t trying to hear you.
Simply put – you had hours or days or weeks
invested in thinking about what’s in YOUR HEAD.
And then you took all that “processing” and
thinking and spoke a few words about it to him
with the assumption that he’d be able to get
exactly what it is you were going through.
WRONG.
Now, are men less than open or receptive
to listening sometimes when you share your
feelings.
Yes.
But if you want to build a RELATIONSHIP
with a man, then you know you’re both going
to have to learn about how to connect and
share with each other.
He’ll have to learn about how things work
for you.
And you’ll have to learn about how things
work for him.
If your own thoughts, internal emotions,
and YOUR PERSPECTIVE on how things work are
trying to run the show… then it’s very likely
that you’re not going to get very far in your
relationship with a man, and that it’s not
going to last too long.
One of the toughest things to do is to
actually learn how to take what you think and
feel and have someone else not only listen in
an open and supportive way… but to actually
UNDERSTAND YOU and where you’re coming from.
People spend years or decades studying
how to do become strong communicators and
relate well to other people.
The sooner you learn what it takes for
you to communicate with a man and get the
RESPONSE that you want (him being open,
supportive, loving, understanding)…
Then the sooner you’re going to be able
to start living a fulfilling life and create
a great relationship that you can have
CONFIDENCE and SECURITY in.
I’ve taken literally years and years of
study and observation of what works, what
doesn’t, how men think, and how most women
talk… and I’ve finally created what I believe
is the most powerful woman’s guide to
communicating with a man I’ve ever seen or
heard of.
And I’ve decided to share some of the
secrets that I’ve learned, and a few of the
most helpful tips right HERE:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/CommunicationSecrets/
You know, I know a lot of women who used to
get VERY freaked out when they would date a guy
but for some reason he started acting distant
or “lazy” or tried to pull away.
Now that I’ve helped them understand these
particular situations better, and now that they
understand more of the “dynamics” of what’s
going on, they don’t have the same fear or
insecurity about what’s going to happen for them
or where their love life is going to take them…
In fact, they never get that “nervous” and
anxious feeling anymore that used to come up
when they felt they needed to talk to a man
and connect with him… but they didn’t really
know how.
Now, in this newsletter I’ve shared a few
points to help you get better results in your
love life. Use them. They’ll definitely help
you.
You should read this newsletter again and
review how some of the ideas and tips relate
to you specifically.
But as you can probably tell, what I’ve
shared is just one of MANY important facets
of improving your dating life or relationship.
In fact, this is just scratching the surface
of the skills you’ll need if you want to have
an amazing single life or LASTING LOVE with the
one man you desire.
The reality of this situation is that if you
want to take control of this area of your life
and not feel helpless or powerless in love with
men anymore, you’re going to need to take more
steps to get the results you want.
And what’s the best way to do that quickly,
easily and without spending years of time and
lots of money learning the HARD WAY?
My “Communication Secrets” CD/DVD program.
This program will take you step-by-step through
all the key theories, concepts, and techniques
you’ll need to talk with a man and COMMUNICATE
with him in a powerful way IMMEDIATELY.
And here’s another interesting benefit that
comes from going through my Communication
Secrets program…
It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD.
The first time you listen to it or watch it,
you’ll be hitting your head saying “Ah ha! Ah ha!”
the whole time.
All of those things that have happened to you
with men will start to make sense.
You’ll finally understand what it meant
when he said this… or why he said that… or
how come he didn’t listen or understand me when
I said this… and what to say next time.
All of the times you screwed up will stop
bothering you, because you’ll “get” what
happened… and all of the times that things
worked will finally make sense too.
But, one of the REAL benefits comes AFTER you
go through it. This is when the real MAGIC starts
to happen.
When you’re with a man and you’re talking
and there’s one of those critical moments where
you want to share something with him… or you
want him to open up to you… you’ll UNDERSTAND
what is happening and how to create the situation
and the OUTCOME you want.
When a man starts doing something subtle that
you would have never understood before, or that
would have made you frustrated or upset, you’ll
SEE it… and he’ll SEE that you see it… and you
will instantly be talking to him on a DIFFERENT
LEVEL… all because you know something that most
other women don’t.
When you encounter “resistance” or “problems”
from a man, you will no longer need to get nervous
or upset, because you’ll know what TO DO about
it… and when you actually DO the right thing
you’ll see that problem disappear.
The point that I’m trying to make is that this
education will not only teach you techniques for
communicating with men, it will also give you a
new POWER and CONFIDENCE that you never had before.
Go ahead and take the step towards having
all this in your life now by going here:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/CommunicationSecrets/
Lots of women have written me about this
program and said that if it were available
five or ten years ago… that they would have
gladly traded almost anything to have it back
then because it would have saved them soooooo
much time, effort, pain, frustration, and energy.
But it wasn’t, so they had to take YEARS
figuring all of this stuff out… and they still
needed help learning the lessons and all the
real-world specifics.
My point is, if you want to have the kind of
open and loving relationship where you can talk
and share with a man, and he with you… then
this program will be truly priceless.
If you use it, it’s worth at least ten times
what you’ll invest for it.
And as you probably know, you can order it
WITHOUT RISK as well.
Order and try it at no cost to you.
In other words, order it now, go through it
and learn all the lessons inside.
If you’re not happy, just send it back and
say “no thanks”. No questions, no hassles.
I’m that confident in the fact that this
program will change your ability to connect
and communicate with a man FOREVER.
All the details, plus some great sample
video clips are here:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/CommunicationSecrets/
And if you’d like to learn the critical
skill of knowing how to make a man feel ATTRACTION
for you… and you’d like to quickly move past
the purely physical reasons a man might want
to be with you and also have him feel an intense
“Emotional Attraction” for you…
My “Natural & Lasting Attraction” CD/DVD
program is all you need.
It’s hard to describe this program in a few
sentences, so go read about it here, and watch the
preview video clips:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/NALA/
And if you’d like an introduction to my main
concepts and techniques, then you need to start
with my eBook, Catch Him & Keep Him. It’s the
foundation for everything that I teach in these
newsletters, and it’s a MUST-read. It’s here:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/eBook/
I’ll talk to you again soon… and best of
luck in Life and Love!
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
P.S. You can also take a look at all of the
different programs I’ve created, get the
details about which one can help you in your
specific situation, and watch free video
preview clips from each one right here:
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/13852/Catalog/
P.P.S. I’d LOVE to hear what you think about my
newsletters, my eBook, and my other programs.
Feel free to email me at Stories@CatchHimAndKeepHim.com,
as I do read my email.
*Important Note*
If you’re going to write me, please follow
these quick guidelines so your email gets my
attention right away…
1) Keep it short and to the point. A few
paragraphs at most please.
2) Tell me what’s working for you before you ask
your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff
is great” and “I don’t need to tell you how well
your program works” comments, but the fact is that
I DO need to hear all of the specifics… because
this helps other women to see what’s working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success
Story” in the subject line of the email. I read
these emails first, before all others. And if
you’d like to ask me a question, write “Question
for Christian” in your subject line.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials
and tell me where you’re from.
5) Send it to me at Stories@CatchHimAndKeepHim.com
….don’t just hit “reply” to this email because I
will NOT receive it if you do.
Thanks!
P.P.P.S. For help or support questions, please
email Support@CatchHimAndKeepHim.com and I’ll make
sure you get your question answered quickly.
————————————————
Copyright 2006, Catch Him Inc., All Rights
Reserved. Catch Him And Keep Him And Christian
Carter are trademarks of Catch Him Inc. All emails
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